Is this about marriage or pms?

So, i've been thinking about marriage and what it's all about...

It's not all cuddles and hugs, anyone who believes that is the case is in for a rude awakening. Someone who I would not typically talk to about marriage said to me the other day "It's about always being there for each other, knowing you always have someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on." He's been married for 34 years and is not a particularly soft person, but he has always been there for his wife and they love each other deeply.

Women, I think, sometimes expect too much, myself included. When the romance is low and we need to be reassured we want our men to know what we're thinking. Granted, some men are especially romantic, but for most of us I guess this is not the case. I feel needy right around the same time every month:o) Last month I finally laid it all on the table and went into specific detail as to what bothers me and what I need. It felt great, problem solved-well, for that pms cycle anyway. Now the feelings begin again. It is a vicious cycle and I hate it. Why do I have to be so irrational?

Anyway, if I would just see the ways he shows me his love, maybe I wouldn't long to hear the words so much. Not to mention that I don't think I hear him say it as often as he does. I only notice it when it doesn't happen and then I feel (and I am sure many of you understand this feeling) like he might hate me and have no use for me anymore.

I remember having similar feelings regarding a particular friend who I lived with years ago. My best friend, who I could just tell her like it was and she did the same for me, but there was a time every month where I figured she thought she could do better for a roommate and best friend.

When I pms, the world hates me...at least that's the way I see it. The people I love the most are the ones that hate me the most. I need to get over this!

I digress...

So, take what your husband offers and if you don't feel like it's enough, make it what you want it to be. If you need more romance, do something about it. If more sex sounds good, make it happen. If you want to talk more, just tell him. I spent a week wondering if I could even talk to him about the things I had to say and once I did he said "I wish you had told me sooner." I think it's time to stop beating him up (in my mind) for the way I wish things were sometimes and start making it how I want it to be.

Don't worry, I'll be going through this again in about a month...