rambling on the easy life

In church yesterday our pastor preached on Daniel chapter 3. Here's what stood out to me, especially regarding the things going on in our life right now...

You probably know the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, even if you are not a church goer. Here's a recap... It's a miracle story where three men stand up for what they believe in, God. They refuse to worship any other God and because of their refusal to worship other gods they are thrown into a fiery furnace. While three men are thrown into the furnace the king sees four men walking together through the flames. He opens the door and calls the men out of the furnace. They exit the furnace and not a single hair on their heads had been singed.

Before the men are thrown into the fiery furnace this is what they say to King Nebuchadnezzer:

Daniel 3:16-1816 "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

They didn't agree to stand up for God and what he commanded because they knew he would rescue them in the fire. They believed that he was able to rescue them, but understood that in His perfect plan he may not do that. They placed no expectation on God to "come through" for them. S, M, & A understood that it was about God's glory and not their own. Surely they did not want to burn up in the fiery furnace but they said they would not conform in order to protect themselves.

I should begin by saying that no one has told me that if I do not do something they will throw me into a furnace, which makes it all the more sad that I struggle to trust God in these circumstances. Rather than seeking God's glory I seek my own and seek to protect my reputation. I doubt God's provision, or rather question what that provision actually looks like.

As I shared, probably months ago, we sense a very clear calling to expand our family through adoption. In order to adopt we need to move to a new home with more bedrooms. It's easy to say "God, we are moving so that we can adopt, which we know you want us to do. So, sell our house quickly." Then I expect that to happen. Yesterday I realized that I am expecting God to do this for us rather than trusting that he will work it all for our good and His glory. What are we supposed to do then? Obey. Trust the calling that God has laid on our hearts and believe what He has promised. We are never alone. He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Can God sell our house? Yes. Does God have to sell our house? No. I want my attitude to be like S, M, & A's... "Lord, you can deliver us from this, but if you choose not to we will still trust you and obey."

I am so worried about whether others will think we are making a mistake moving into our new home while our house is still on the market. I feel a desperate need to justify our actions and make others approve of our decisions. I even want to try to explain it to those who would just think we were even more crazy for doing it with the reasons we have. I feel a drive to conform to what this world would consider "responsible" rather than trusting God to provide for our family, however He sees fit. I have even found myself thinking "maybe this is God's way of telling us not to adopt." The reality of that thought is that I am expecting that if I do what God is calling me to do things should be easy, and because they are difficult I want to give up. In that I am giving into the idea that life is intended to be easy. God's word says just the opposite about the believers life... "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." Romans 8:16-17.

This all leads me to believe that if my life is easy there might be something wrong. My life has been easy for so long I wonder how many ways I have conformed in order to keep it that way. What negotiations am I making with God in order to keep everything in my life calm and simple? If someone said to me "bow down to this idol or we'll throw you into the furnace" would I say "God can rescue me from this if He chooses and if not I still believe what He has promised"? Or, would I bow down intending to repent and seek forgiveness later? Would I justify my disbelief by telling God I have to do it because my kids need their mom? Would I suggest that because of the grace of God in sending Jesus to forgive me from such sins that I do not have to trust God and obey? There is such a fine line between this life of obedience that God has called us to as his children and living a life of legalism. Because of God's grace my heart desires to trust and obey, because of my sinfulness I fail. Thank you God, for sending Jesus!