Tomorrow is settlement day on our new house. We got some great news yesterday... We are getting the house for $8,000 less than we originally planned. Yippee!!! I am so thankful for this blessing, not just because it is saving us a little money, but because even in suffering I see God's faithfulness in confirming that we are inside of His will. With some of the things going on in our lives lately it would be easy to start to second guess what we know God has called us to, but He encourages us to press on. I believe that God is in all things and that every good and perfect gift comes from him, so it is to him that I credit this bit of good news. That being said, I also recognize that the suffering that we are experiencing is an attack from the enemy that God is allowing us to endure. He could take the suffering away, he has the power to do that but he chooses not to. Why? His allowing us to suffer is also a good and perfect gift because it will result in being pressed deeper into God. That is where I want to be.
Anyway, we start moving boxes tomorrow (as well as cleaning the place) and I will continue that process over the next few days. Saturday is the real moving day (with the big truck). Hopefully all that will be left to do on the weekend is move big pieces of furniture. I'll try to post some pics once we have the chance to make it look like our home sweet home.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I could say so much...
...but I won't.
The past five days have been something to write about, and yet I feel entirely incapable of doing that. I will say just a few things... God sent a man and his wife to our church to minister to us and to challenge us. Andy had the privilege of spending a week in India with this family in September and I am so thankful for the opportunity I have had to get to know them over the last few days and be encouraged by them. It has very little to do with the fact that they are such captivating speakers and so very much to do with the fact that the true desire of their hearts is to see God glorified. God has been preparing us to be a part of spreading the gospel globally and has graciously been preparing us for some of the ways this calling will affect our lives. I think I could comment on the entire book of 1 Peter right now, but I don't have the energy. My heart is heavy. Satan is attacking and he wants us to be distracted, but I know that we are not alone. Jesus is with us and promises not to leave us or forsake us. We were reminded this week in Luke 9:62 that Jesus said "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." God will grant us the strength to press on and not look back.
I will keep my commentary on 1 Peter limited to this, though there is so much I could say. 1 Peter 1:24-25 says “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.' And this word is the good news that was preached to you." So concise! Nothing else matters but the word of the Lord. All that I cling to in this world will be gone, but his word will endure. Sharing the gospel is more important than my comfort, my reputation, or any other idol that I set up for myself.
The past five days have been something to write about, and yet I feel entirely incapable of doing that. I will say just a few things... God sent a man and his wife to our church to minister to us and to challenge us. Andy had the privilege of spending a week in India with this family in September and I am so thankful for the opportunity I have had to get to know them over the last few days and be encouraged by them. It has very little to do with the fact that they are such captivating speakers and so very much to do with the fact that the true desire of their hearts is to see God glorified. God has been preparing us to be a part of spreading the gospel globally and has graciously been preparing us for some of the ways this calling will affect our lives. I think I could comment on the entire book of 1 Peter right now, but I don't have the energy. My heart is heavy. Satan is attacking and he wants us to be distracted, but I know that we are not alone. Jesus is with us and promises not to leave us or forsake us. We were reminded this week in Luke 9:62 that Jesus said "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." God will grant us the strength to press on and not look back.
I will keep my commentary on 1 Peter limited to this, though there is so much I could say. 1 Peter 1:24-25 says “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.' And this word is the good news that was preached to you." So concise! Nothing else matters but the word of the Lord. All that I cling to in this world will be gone, but his word will endure. Sharing the gospel is more important than my comfort, my reputation, or any other idol that I set up for myself.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Adoption, etc.
If you have talked to me at all in the past two or three weeks you probably know that we have finally begun the adoption process in an official way. After reading, waiting, and certainly some degree of impatience because of an the inability to make a decision, we have decided to pursue adoption from Ethiopia. We are hoping to adopt a child in the age range of infant to 18 months and we don't know if it will be a boy or girl. We are currently in the process of completing some initial paperwork and gathering some necessary documents. We have our first official Home Study appointment the first week of November (where we will go ever all the documents and information needed for our dossier) and hope to have our entire home study completed by mid-December. That is of course all but our fingerprinting. We can not go to be fingerprinted until me move and then we have to wait for the state of Delaware to process the criminal and background checks (which is currently taking up to four months). Once that comes back our home study will be officially complete and we can send all of our documents to Ethiopia for translation. And then we WAIT. We wait for a referral (information on the child they have matched us with) and then once we accept the referral we will travel about two months later. This all sounds like it could move pretty quickly but we imagine it will take about 18-24 months. It could be shorter or it could be longer. We don't have any real expectations, but are hopeful that it will be shorter rather than longer.
In other news...
We had a birthday party for the boys yesterday which was fun. Connor will be two on Friday and Andy will be four next Sunday. Man, time flies!!!
We are settling on our new house on October 31 and moving that weekend. We are very excited! Our house still hasn't sold, but we trust that God has a plan. We just don't know what it is yet.
Monday, October 1, 2007
rambling on the easy life
In church yesterday our pastor preached on Daniel chapter 3. Here's what stood out to me, especially regarding the things going on in our life right now...
You probably know the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, even if you are not a church goer. Here's a recap... It's a miracle story where three men stand up for what they believe in, God. They refuse to worship any other God and because of their refusal to worship other gods they are thrown into a fiery furnace. While three men are thrown into the furnace the king sees four men walking together through the flames. He opens the door and calls the men out of the furnace. They exit the furnace and not a single hair on their heads had been singed.
Before the men are thrown into the fiery furnace this is what they say to King Nebuchadnezzer:
Daniel 3:16-1816 "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”
They didn't agree to stand up for God and what he commanded because they knew he would rescue them in the fire. They believed that he was able to rescue them, but understood that in His perfect plan he may not do that. They placed no expectation on God to "come through" for them. S, M, & A understood that it was about God's glory and not their own. Surely they did not want to burn up in the fiery furnace but they said they would not conform in order to protect themselves.
I should begin by saying that no one has told me that if I do not do something they will throw me into a furnace, which makes it all the more sad that I struggle to trust God in these circumstances. Rather than seeking God's glory I seek my own and seek to protect my reputation. I doubt God's provision, or rather question what that provision actually looks like.
As I shared, probably months ago, we sense a very clear calling to expand our family through adoption. In order to adopt we need to move to a new home with more bedrooms. It's easy to say "God, we are moving so that we can adopt, which we know you want us to do. So, sell our house quickly." Then I expect that to happen. Yesterday I realized that I am expecting God to do this for us rather than trusting that he will work it all for our good and His glory. What are we supposed to do then? Obey. Trust the calling that God has laid on our hearts and believe what He has promised. We are never alone. He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Can God sell our house? Yes. Does God have to sell our house? No. I want my attitude to be like S, M, & A's... "Lord, you can deliver us from this, but if you choose not to we will still trust you and obey."
I am so worried about whether others will think we are making a mistake moving into our new home while our house is still on the market. I feel a desperate need to justify our actions and make others approve of our decisions. I even want to try to explain it to those who would just think we were even more crazy for doing it with the reasons we have. I feel a drive to conform to what this world would consider "responsible" rather than trusting God to provide for our family, however He sees fit. I have even found myself thinking "maybe this is God's way of telling us not to adopt." The reality of that thought is that I am expecting that if I do what God is calling me to do things should be easy, and because they are difficult I want to give up. In that I am giving into the idea that life is intended to be easy. God's word says just the opposite about the believers life... "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." Romans 8:16-17.
This all leads me to believe that if my life is easy there might be something wrong. My life has been easy for so long I wonder how many ways I have conformed in order to keep it that way. What negotiations am I making with God in order to keep everything in my life calm and simple? If someone said to me "bow down to this idol or we'll throw you into the furnace" would I say "God can rescue me from this if He chooses and if not I still believe what He has promised"? Or, would I bow down intending to repent and seek forgiveness later? Would I justify my disbelief by telling God I have to do it because my kids need their mom? Would I suggest that because of the grace of God in sending Jesus to forgive me from such sins that I do not have to trust God and obey? There is such a fine line between this life of obedience that God has called us to as his children and living a life of legalism. Because of God's grace my heart desires to trust and obey, because of my sinfulness I fail. Thank you God, for sending Jesus!
You probably know the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, even if you are not a church goer. Here's a recap... It's a miracle story where three men stand up for what they believe in, God. They refuse to worship any other God and because of their refusal to worship other gods they are thrown into a fiery furnace. While three men are thrown into the furnace the king sees four men walking together through the flames. He opens the door and calls the men out of the furnace. They exit the furnace and not a single hair on their heads had been singed.
Before the men are thrown into the fiery furnace this is what they say to King Nebuchadnezzer:
Daniel 3:16-1816 "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”
They didn't agree to stand up for God and what he commanded because they knew he would rescue them in the fire. They believed that he was able to rescue them, but understood that in His perfect plan he may not do that. They placed no expectation on God to "come through" for them. S, M, & A understood that it was about God's glory and not their own. Surely they did not want to burn up in the fiery furnace but they said they would not conform in order to protect themselves.
I should begin by saying that no one has told me that if I do not do something they will throw me into a furnace, which makes it all the more sad that I struggle to trust God in these circumstances. Rather than seeking God's glory I seek my own and seek to protect my reputation. I doubt God's provision, or rather question what that provision actually looks like.
As I shared, probably months ago, we sense a very clear calling to expand our family through adoption. In order to adopt we need to move to a new home with more bedrooms. It's easy to say "God, we are moving so that we can adopt, which we know you want us to do. So, sell our house quickly." Then I expect that to happen. Yesterday I realized that I am expecting God to do this for us rather than trusting that he will work it all for our good and His glory. What are we supposed to do then? Obey. Trust the calling that God has laid on our hearts and believe what He has promised. We are never alone. He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Can God sell our house? Yes. Does God have to sell our house? No. I want my attitude to be like S, M, & A's... "Lord, you can deliver us from this, but if you choose not to we will still trust you and obey."
I am so worried about whether others will think we are making a mistake moving into our new home while our house is still on the market. I feel a desperate need to justify our actions and make others approve of our decisions. I even want to try to explain it to those who would just think we were even more crazy for doing it with the reasons we have. I feel a drive to conform to what this world would consider "responsible" rather than trusting God to provide for our family, however He sees fit. I have even found myself thinking "maybe this is God's way of telling us not to adopt." The reality of that thought is that I am expecting that if I do what God is calling me to do things should be easy, and because they are difficult I want to give up. In that I am giving into the idea that life is intended to be easy. God's word says just the opposite about the believers life... "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." Romans 8:16-17.
This all leads me to believe that if my life is easy there might be something wrong. My life has been easy for so long I wonder how many ways I have conformed in order to keep it that way. What negotiations am I making with God in order to keep everything in my life calm and simple? If someone said to me "bow down to this idol or we'll throw you into the furnace" would I say "God can rescue me from this if He chooses and if not I still believe what He has promised"? Or, would I bow down intending to repent and seek forgiveness later? Would I justify my disbelief by telling God I have to do it because my kids need their mom? Would I suggest that because of the grace of God in sending Jesus to forgive me from such sins that I do not have to trust God and obey? There is such a fine line between this life of obedience that God has called us to as his children and living a life of legalism. Because of God's grace my heart desires to trust and obey, because of my sinfulness I fail. Thank you God, for sending Jesus!
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