I am a Daughter!!!

I have really been struggling over the past couple of months to see myself as a daughter. You may be thinking "What the heck are you talking about? Of course you're a daughter with two loving parents!" Well, yes that is true I have two wonderful earthly parents who love me very much and show it in so many ways, but I have something that is even better than that... a Heavenly Father who loves me beyond measure.

I have head knowledge that tells me I am a child of God, but without my heart being able to understand and believe that, I live as an orphan. This had led me to a feeling of despair. I could see my sin and my yucky sinful heart and knew that I could not change it. I was forgetting that when God looks at me he sees Jesus' righteousness. There's a fancy phrase for it "imputed righteousness". The truth of the gospel is that because of God's plan to send Jesus to live a perfectly righteous life, die on the cross, and be resurrected I am forgiven. Just as Jesus is God's son, I am his daughter and he loves me that much. A friend of mine always says "You are worth one Jesus."

I have been praying, it came slowly and sometimes awkwardly when I was in this low place, but I knew that it was the only place I could go to seek rest. I had to admit to God that I couldn't do anything that I was trying to do. I can't stop worshiping my husband, children, and home above God unless he does that work in me through his Holy Spirit. I had to ask for help. I asked and he answered. He has given me an opportunity to be separated from these idols for a short time in order to serve others and bring glory to him. He will help me to rely on him and I can only do it with the strength he provides.

Then today, I talked with God. I kept coming back to him over and over talking to him about our house (the one that's been on the market since September). It went something like this...

"God, I don't know why you haven't sold our house yet, but I'm sure there is a reason. I would really like it if we could sell that house... If you don't want us to, that's okay too.... Well, God, I know that this is bold and I don't know if it is selfish, but I believe that you answer prayers so please sell our house before the end of the day tomorrow. If you choose not to do this please give me peace and give us direction as to what we should do with the house." (paraphrase)

Around eight o'clock tonight we got a call saying that an offer had been made on our house. We will go to sign papers and accept the offer in the morning. God heard my prayers and answered. I think it may be necessary to say that even if he had not sold our house I am confident that he would have answered this prayer by directing us in our decision making and helping us to trust him in all of it. God answered this bold prayer very clearly and in a way that was admittedly what I was hoping for but it is important to know that just because we think something would be best a certain way we can trust that God truly knows what is best for us and works all things together for the good of his children.

Here is the best news I received all day... not the house selling, but God hears MY prayers. He has been listening to me, little ol' me. I laid in bed tonight with tears streaming down my face thanking God for his faithfulness. Not that he was faithful to sell our house (which I am thankful for) but that he was faithful to remind me that I am his and he cares so deeply for me that he is listening when I am speaking to him. I feel like He has come down and wrapped his arms around me and said to me "I know you are having trouble believing, but you have asked for help to believe and I love you so much and care so much about you that I want to help you. Be still and know that I AM God."