my house

Someone recently got Andy and me thinking that maybe we should consider having a bigger house with more amenities. His argument was "you can afford better, why would you stay there?" Now, if you are reading this and you know me at all you probably know that this is something that I have struggled with for a long time, but for at least a year now I have really been finding myself feeling perfectly content and thankful for my house. Well maybe not "perfectly", things do still break and there are some things that I would like to be different, but I am satisfied knowing that these things will get done eventually. It is easier to be satisfied with the imperfections of this house because I expect to live here for a LONG time and so we have plenty of time to do the things we want.

Anyway, I have said all of this to get to this point. I am sitting here watching the Food Network while my boys are sleeping and I suddenly realized that I have my own place. This is my home. All of the problems that I worry over every day turned into something wonderful, because they are my problems and no one elses. I can fix them when I want or not fix them if I don't feel like it.

I am one of six kids and my parents home is smaller than mine, containing only one toilet. We lived there all our lives and we are all fine. We shared bedrooms and fought for the bathroom, but we all survived. The storage place was behind the walls of the attic bedrooms. In this old house we have two toilets (that right there is a HUGE deal)! We have a basement (1/2 finished and 1/2 storage). Plus we have an entire attic we can use for storage. The house feels smaller to us because we only have 2 bedrooms (used to be 3 but we wanted a bigger master for ourselves). So, here are our big dreams... We have an extra room on the side of our house that is our "shed" right now, but we are hoping to get a real shed this spring and then finish that room in the next few years. On top of that room we are considering having another bedroom built ($$$). Don't know if or when that will happen, but maybe in the next 5 years or so (these really are BIG dreams!) Lastly, I am hoping for my dream bathroom to be built over top of our kitchen (maybe after we retire we could afford that kind of project). We'll see...

Here's the thing, it doesn't really matter to me if these huge projects get done on any particular timeline or maybe at all. I am just so thankful that I have a warm and happy home. I have a home where I can live, laugh, cry, relax and enjoy my family and friends. I think people feel welcomed here (at least I hope they do). I just want my house to be a place where the people I love and care about feel safe and comfortable. All that other "fancy" stuff doesn't really matter at all.

Valentine's Day

Here's a picture from our romantic Valentine's Day dinner. Andy made Pork Chops in an Oregano Wine Sauce and we had a lovely dinner by candlelight.

Ok, here's what really happened...

We don't really celebrate Valentine's day, never really have. I think it is better to do nice things all year long than to save up the romance for this one day and then do it because everyone else is and that's what is expected. I was originally supposed to go out with my sis-in-law for dinner but because of the snow we had to reschedule. So, I decided what we were going to have for dinner and got everything ready, then after sledding for half the afternoon I was WAY too tired to cook anything. Andy was kind and willing to do the cooking instead. Both boys were in bed, Connor sleeping and Andy J watching a movie in our bed. Just as dinner was finishing the lights went out. We lost all power. The only thing we could think was "Oh Crap! If it doesn't come back on it time we are going to miss Lost!" So, we lit some candles and took some pictures so as to make it appear that we are some super romantic couple, but I can not tell a lie. Andy J. came downstairs because his movie went off and he sat with us as we ate. Then when the lights came back on we all went to the basement and played CandyLand together. I have to say, it was probably the most romantic Valentine's I have ever had, but not because of fancy food and candles. I was romanced by watching Andy with Andy J. as we played CandyLand. He is so good with our boys. So good at teaching them and showing patience, and I can see the pride and joy in his eyes as he watches them start to understand what we are trying to explain. I am so blessed!

Lucky me!

Today my best friend sent me an early birthday card. She will either be a new mom or having her baby on my birthday, so she obviously thought ahead and sent it early. (I wish I had that kind of devotion to sending cards to people I care about.)
Anyway, that card couldn't have come at a better time. If you read my earlier post you know that I have had a pretty terrible day. My friend expressed that she feels there would be a felt hole in her life if I wasn't there, and I don't think she could have put it any better. I don't know what I would do without her. She is the ONLY person who has been there through ALL of it. "Best friend" sound so teenager, but there is no other way to describe it. It is so awesome to know that she will always be there. I think women in general spend a lot of time looking for "real" friends because real friends are hard to find. I am, well on Monday, 27 and I have found a life long friend that I know I can always count on. How lucky am I?!?!

business meetings aren't so bad

Today I am wasting my day being angry. There are a couple of things bothering me. First of all, my ex-sister-in-law is such a jerk and I am really angry with her because of how selfish she is and all that she has already put my brother-in-law through and all she continues to do just to make his life difficult. Also, Andy is away for business meetings and I am home doing what I always do. This would normally just be a time when I miss him and wish he were home with me, but today I am jealous and angry. He flew in to CO on Tuesday but didn't have any meetings that day so was able to go and do some touristy things as soon as he got there. He was then able to go out to dinner with other adults and just hang out afterwards. Last night he went out to dinner with the guys again and then stayed up hanging out at the bar til one in the morning (3 am, our time). He called to say goodnight when he got in for the night, which I requested so I wasn't angry that he called so late. I am just irritated that his "business meetings" are so freakin fun. All the while I am at home taking care of kids, and doing laundry. Why don't I get to go away for business meetings? Sure, a meeting from 9-5 might be pretty boring, but I would gladly sit through someone speaking at me for a day and a half if it meant I got 3 adult evenings to myself. Not only is he getting these 3 nights of break from the norm, but that means I am at home alone with no one coming home at 5:30 to help me out. I like to believe that I am extra irritated because I hardly sleep when he is away and so I am REALLY tired, but I am afraid it is just because I am tired in general and it makes me so stinking jealous that he gets this break. Well, this is me venting! I should make it clear that I'm not angry at Andy, just at the circumstances. I think someone should organize business meetings for stay-at-home moms. At least twice a year there should be a meeting where moms gather and learn something new that will help with their jobs. How about a 3-day seminar on tips for organizing your home? or a time management seminar that will help us to balance all of the things we have to do everyday? Ok, I'm finished for now. It's time to go to the grocery store.