When I Grow Up

All I ever wanted to grow up to be was a wife and a mom. I would be domestic and sweet. My husband would be romantic, showing up with flowers and gifts at random. My kids would be well-behaved all of the time. I would never yell, like other mothers do, and I would never wish I could be somewhere else... anywhere else. Hmmm... that is not at all what this is like.

I am broken and it's in my face. I am so thankful for the blood of Jesus and that it is by the work that he did on the Cross that I am saved. If it had anything to do with me I would be in real trouble.

Thank you, God, for your gracious love.

A Poem by Ella Conrad Cowherd

I'm too tired to trust and too tired to pray,
Said one, as the over-taxed strength gave way.
The one conscious thought by my mind possessed,
Is, oh, could I just drop it all and rest.

Will God forgive me, do you suppose,
If I go right to sleep as a baby goes,
Without an asking if I may,
Without every trying to trust and pray?

Will God forgive you? Think back, dear heart,
When language to you was an unknown art,
Did a mother deny you needed rest,
Or refuse to pillow your head on her breast?

Did she let you want when you could not ask?
Did she set her child an unequal task?
Or did she cradle you in her arms,
And then guard your slumber against alarms?

Ah, how quickly a mother's love can see,
The unconscious yearnings of infancy.
When you've grown too tired to trust and pray,
When over-wrought nature has quite given way:

Then just drop it all, and give up to rest,
As you used to do on a mother's breast,
He knows all about it---the dear Lord knows,
So just go to sleep as a baby goes;

Without even asking if you may,
God knows when His child is too tired to pray.
He judges not solely by uttered prayer,
He knows when the yearnings of love are there.

He knows you do pray, He knows you do trust,
And He knows, too, the limits of poor, weak dust.
Oh, the wonderful sympathy of Christ,
For His chosen ones in that midnight tryst,

When He bade them "Sleep and take your rest",
While on Him the guilt of the whole world pressed---
You have trusted you life to Him to keep,
Then don't be afraid to go right to sleep."

Giving up

I think it's time to give up on blogging. When I do have the time to do it I don't feel like doing it, and I am always annoyed that I have a blog on which I never post. So, I done being bothered by it. If I feel like writing something I will, but the rest of the time I will not bother. Maybe some day I will write more, but today is not that day and I don't think that this is the year either.

On that note, I will leave for now by sharing this bit of information...

Our adoption plans have changed. We are now adopting from India, because that is where God has shown us our daughter is. Her name will be Amanda and we hope that she will be home by fall. She will be six months old in six days. It's amazing to see how God has worked in all of this. He is teaching us to trust him for all of the details. If our papers had arrived in the normal time frame (about which we were irritated when they hadn't) we would have sent everything off before we ever knew about Amanda. We are thrilled to know her and miss her even though we have not yet had the privilege of holding her in our arms. We are busy completing paperwork and getting our house ready for our little girl. We can't wait to have her home!

And that's all for now.

Super Hero School

Homeschool Super Hero in training


The lesser known super hero "Super Dog" Maybe not as fancy as the Batman costume, but what an imagination!

What's My Motive? II

While reading "Anne of Green Gables" by L. M. Montgomery the other night, this quote struck me.

"How unfortunate that Anne should have displayed such a temper before Mrs. Rachel Lynde, of all people! Then Marilla suddenly became aware of an uncomfortable and rebuking consciousness that she felt more humiliation over this than sorrow over the discovery of such a serious defect in Anne's disposition."

This book, regarding children's behavior, is concerned primarily about outward acts and never concerned with the heart but it still made me think about my motives in correcting my children. Do I experience sorrow/Do I react because they have hurt my reputation or because they have sinned against the holy God?

Hmmmm.... Certainly something for me to think about.

Rock Stars

This is what happens when I fall asleep on the couch for ten minutes.

What's My Motive?

The following quotes are from "A Quest for More" by Paul David Tripp

" Motive. To live a Christ-centered life means that he really is the reason I do everything I do. I want to know him. I want to be a part of his work on earth. I want to please him with my life. I want to value what he values. I want his purpose for me to define my purpose for myself, I want to follow his words and incarnate his character. I want to be his disciple and represent him like an ambassador so his will shapes my actions, reactions, words, thoughts, and desires. My decisions are more about what pleases him than what pleasures me. I am enthused that I have been selected to be part of his big kingdom, and I want to live in a way that fits with the goals, values, and purposes of it."

"Our thoughts can be so dominated by the necessary tasks of the day, by the difficulties we face, or by the people around us, that we lose our consciousness of the Lord of Glory who has drawn us into his transcendent purposes for the universe... (Christ-centered living) is caring more about his glory than about my schedule. Is is caring that his grace is spread and his fame is known more than I care about the next-sale, the next promotion, an immaculate house, or a fun lunch with my friends. Ask yourself, when you start your day, what fills the eyes of your heart? What "unseen" thing draws and motivates you? Do you see God? Are you drawn towards him? Do you desire that your day be his day? Do you recognize his grace, power, and sovereignty in your life?"